Valentine's Day Scandal
by Konshiro Crobrasha
Summary: The day of love is here! And as such, there's a lot of love that's being thrown around. And for a certain blonde knight, he's being thrown around a whole lot more than he'd like. Now he's being forced to pick someone to love. lest they choose for him. (Happy Valentine's Day!)


**Well, it's a Valentine's day special, so yay. Sorry if I don't sound all that cheery, it's just that I have had a very stressful (and exhausting) month. So let's get this over with. This time, it's going to be a competition between a whole lot of different girls. So without further ado, let's get right into it!**

 **/**

 **Jaune POV**

I know I'm not the most knowledgeable of people when it comes down to these kinds of things, but I'd like to think I know when someone is trying to ask me on a date. Why am I saying this? Well...

"Hey Jaune, I wanted to give you these cookies that I made for you. B-but it's in no way me trying to tell you that I l-like you or anything! It's just me showing you how much I value our friendship!" Why is Ruby giving me her cookies? She never shares them with anyone.

"Hey lover-boy~. How's it goin'? just wanted to give you some chocolates. i'm going to have to ask you for some more 'milk' later though~." I _really_ don't want to know what Yang meant by that.

"Hello Jaune, I wanted to know if you would like to have one of my books. And maybe later we can play out one of the scenes...just the two of us." Blake. Just...no.

"Hey! Just so you don't get any funny ideas, I got you a new suit. Oum knows that you need something _other_ than a dress. But it's not like I got it because I like you or anything...Baka!" Ha! I knew I was getting through to my Snow Angel!

"Mr. Arc, I will have to ask you to stay after class today for some...extra credit, to stay ahead in school." I kind of had a thing for mature women, but I don't think I'd want to date one I would see nearly every day at school.

"Hey Jaune, would you, like, want to go clubbing or something? Or you know, like, don't. Whatever." The twins are being as...'honest' as they can be I suppose.

"You know, if you want to help me with my yoga later, I wouldn't mind if you joined me in private." Rei? That's a surprise. I honestly thought she might have a thing for Nora.

"Hey Jaune, Jaune! You wanna have some _FUN_ later?" Speaking of whom, i also thought it was mutual. Well, go figure I guess.

"Jaune? I just wanted you to know that our sparring tonight is going to be a bit... _different_. But don't worry! I'll explain everything to you when were up on the roof." Not really surprised by Pyrrha. I've figured that this was coming from a mile away.

*Silent starring in confident lust* Neo, I wonder if she tastes like her name.

"Hey there hottie, let's go partying later. I might even let you pet the _kitty_ after~." Ah, Neon. I guess you could say she's a _Party Animal_? Eh, eh? I'll let myself out.

"Hello, Jaune. Would you like to accompany me to the ball this evening? And perhaps take you to my private quarters to...get to know each other better." So this is Snow Angel's older sister huh? Well, i can't say I'm not aroused.

"Salutations! I would very much like to be your, what you would call, 'Valentine'. Where we can go out on a 'date' and have intercourse afterwards." That's pretty straightforward, Even for you Penny.

"Hello again, Jaune. I'd just like to ask you if you'd like to help me bake some special cookies, and possibly something else too~?" Summer...I can't lie and say I haven't fantasized about it before. But that's Ruby's mother, for crying out loud!

"You're strong. I like that. You will be mine." I believe her name was...Raven, I think? She never really told me her name, but I would not mind seeing what's under that armor.

"Well hello there handsome. How would you like to be the one to warm up my bed tonight? Just you, me, and my daughter too if she's up for it." Blake's mom, and in a threesome? I actually feel tempted.

"So this is the man that has my little Snowflake's attention? Well, I suppose I'll have to test you out before I decide to let you date her or not." Snowflake? That's the nickname Yuki gave Snow Angel? I guess it fits. But still...

"H-hey Jaune. I-I just wanted to know if you'd want to h-hang out with me and Coco today."

"Okay, here's the deal, kid. I'm achin' for ya, and so is Vel. So either come to our place and get ready for the best time of your life, or we come to you. And we'll cum with you if we have anything to say about it."

You see what I mean?! it's like they're trying to throw themselves at me. Some of them I didn't even think were interested in me until today. So it's got me thinking, how long have they been after me? How long have i been ignorant of these feelings? But that doesn't matter right now. What does matter however, is that I am currently surrounded by nearly every woman I know (bar my family) and I don't know how to respond to their own little...'Valentines gifts'. In all honesty. I don't know who to acknowledge. If I choose one, I would feel the force of every other girl. As a wise man once said (may grandpa rest in peace) 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.' Which is why i am going to have to think this through. Meaning...

"U-umm. h-hey, how about this." I begin nervously. I am quite literally walking through a minefield. "I'll think it over, and when I come to a decision, I'll let you all know, yeah?" I'm practically sweating bullets now. If there's one thing about living with eight women has taught me, it's that you never want to piss off even a single woman, let alone **NINETEEN** of 'em! So, to my great relief, they seemed to show some understanding.

"Oh sure, _sweety~._ "

Never mind.

"Let me help you think, _honey~_."

I think i should start running.

"No no, I bet he's tired. He should have a nap in my bed. Let's go, _schnookums~_."

Yep. Running.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Where are you going my _love_ ~?! Come here and kiss your future _bride_ ~!"

Why was it that **BLAKE** of all people said that!? I need a safe place to hide from my sexy pursuers...huh, I used to think this was a dream come true. Oh how wrong I was. But enough thinking, more **running for my life!**

" _Honey_ ~! Come back here and drive your _long hard sword_ into my small _tight_ cavern! I'm _aching_ ~ to feel your _Excaliber_ penetrate my...uh... **JUST GET BACK HERE AND PLOW ME ALREADY!"**

I didn't even know Ruby could even _think_ like that. I will admit, though, thinking about her taking my-NO! I can't be distracted! Must. Get. To. Ozpin's office!

 **(Time skip brought to you by chibi Jaune running from a sex-hungry mob)**

"Okay, I've successfully juked them. I've made it to the Headmaster's elevator, despite losing my armor, my left shoe, my hoodie and my shirt. Almost lost my pants too, but i made it." I thought out loud. Just thankful that I was able to make it out alive. Oum knows what they would do to me,or more accurately, have _me_ do to _them_. Now I bet you're wondering why I'm here. Well, I thought that if anyone could help me, it's the Headmaster.

"Ah, how are you-...oh." Ozpin said, turning in his chair and looked towards me to see my tattered self. We stayed there for a small while, just looking at one another. I was kind of worried he'd send me off to find more clothes. "Let me guess. Girl troubles?" Right on the bullseye.

"Yeah, like you would not believe. Nearly every single female _I know,_ is trying to get into my pants! And they almost succeeded too! I came up here thinking I could get some advice from you, Headmaster." I pleaded, and he says nothing as he slowly takes a sip from his mug. I've really got to know if he's willing to share whatever's in that cup with me with the amount of trouble I've been put through today.

"No."

"What?" What was he saying "no" to?

"Nothing. But if you want to know how to deal with your...peculiar situation. I have a few words of advice for you, and they might be some of the wisest I have ever spoken to anyone in my many years as Headmaster. " He spoke. I was starting to feel hope swell up within me. I was finally about to have a solution to all this madness!

"You should face them head on and hope for the best."

.

..

...

 _ **WHAT?!**_

He then proceeded to sit in his chair, that then wheeled both himself and his mug through a pathway I had previously not noticed, before closing itself. I thought that he would just reappear, and that would be it. But _no_ , he had left me and put the entire office under lockdown.

"This can't possibly get worse. NO WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN THA-"

Before I could take back what I said, the speakers came alive and on it was Ozpin himself...the backstabbing mother-

"Now now, before you say anything you might regret, I would like to apologize to you beforehand."

Apologize? Apologize for what?

"This. Will Team JNPR please retrieve your leader. He is currently waiting within my office. Thank you and have a good day."

Oh...that's what you meant...

" **OZPIN! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR-"**

*Ding*

What was that?

*Ding*

It-it can't be!

*Ding*

They're here already!?

*Ding*

"No! I still have so much to do! So many places to visit! I don't want to die a non-consenting victim!"

*Ding**Bing*

"I DO NOT CON-"

"Quit your bitchin' and get your ass in here!"

'

''

'''

Wot?

"Hurry up and get in here! We don't have much time. Come with me if you want to live."

"Cardin?! W-what are you doing here?"

"No time for questions, so get over here already! I'm trying to save you here!"

"R-right!" Not the time for this. Right now, I WANT TO LIVE!

As i get into the elevator, I see that Cardin hasn't even _tried_ to hurt me. So as we make our way out of the tower and start to discreetly move across campus, sneaking around the place like the video game character, Serpent or something, I have a question naging at the back of my neck that I can't keep in.

"Why are you doing this, Cardin?" I expected him to just brush me off or give me the stank eye or something. But instead, he just looks around ,making sure that we were alone, and then turns facing me.

"Okay, look. I've recently spoke to the school's psychiatrist I've realised why I was so violent. It stemmed from the suppression I felt from my dad, and eventually warped and manifested unchecked rage and aggression within me, which I then portrayed onto others. So for that, I wanted to say...I'm sorry."

Well, at least I can check that off my bucket list. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M READY TO DIE!

"Well, uh, apology accepted. Now, where are you taking me exactly?"

"I'm taking you to-"

" ** _JAUNE_ ~." **Wait, Nora?

 **" _HONEY_ ~."** Ruby!?

 **" _SWEETHEART_ ~." **Pyrrha!?

 **" _MY LOVE_ ~." **BLAKE!?

 **"WE KNOW YOU'RE HERE~. SO JUST COME OUT AND LET US LOVE YOU ALREADY, IT'S USELESS TO TRY AND HIDE. _*SNIFF*_ AND IF YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP US CARDIN, THEN YOU'RE EVEN MORE STUPID THAN WE TOOK YOU FOR."**

THEY FOUND US?! Okay, okay, okay. Let me think. Uhhh...I...I got nothin'. I guess I have to face the wolves.

"Jaune."

"Huh?"

"Go. I'll try to hold them off as long as I can."

"Cardin?"

"Come on, ladies! Wouldn't you like to swoon over a _real_ man instead of that little wimp?!"

He's...protecting me?

 **"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT SCHNOOKUMS?!"**

'Right, running away now.'

As ! run away, ! look back and see that the sounds and explosions of battle become ever quieter.

"Cardin...you were the best bro that I never knew I had." As I continue to think about it, I realised something. I haven't been facing my problems like a real Arc would.

 **"MY LOVE~! LET US LOVE YOU!"**

'I'll face them as soon as I get into a secluded space.' I think as I head my way into a training arena. 'If I want to do this. I need to get into position.'

 **(Time skip brought to you by a determined chibi Jaune making his way through the school.)**

" _Jaune-y_ ~. We know your in here, and there's no way out. So come on out and we can-"

" **NO."**

 **"** W-what?!"

" **I said, NO."** I claimed with as much authority in my voice as I could manage.

"B-but Jau-"

"Now listen here! I have gone through a lot today! From you **LITERALLY** trying to rip my clothes off, to my thought-to-be bro Ozpin abandoning me, to finally losing my only **actual** bro to **YOU**. So **SIT. DOWN!** _ **"**_

Apparently, that was enough to get them to listen to me. So step one has went well, now to hope for the best.

"I know you all want to...'bond' with me, and I know I cant just reject all of you without having this happen again. So to settle this once and for all, I'm going to have you go through one of the most difficult challenges anyone has ever faced against me."

They all seemed to lean forwards, either to listen to me, or to get a better look at my still exposed mid-section.

" **Rock. Paper. Scissors.** "

.

..

...

"What."

"Rock, Paper, Scissors. One by one. If you lose to me, then you have to stop! But if you win, ***Sigh*** you get to have...me." I know I'm going to regret this later, but I know it will mitigate the damage.

"ME FIRST!"

Not really surprised Pyrrha's the one to say that. but i know how this is going to go.

"Rock!"

"Paper!"

"Scissors!"

.

..

...

" **NOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

"Sorry Pyr. I knew you would throw a rock, because you thought I would throw a scissors."

"Move over, sister! My turn!"

And so it went on like this, me winning and them losing. There's a reason I won the National Rock Paper Scissors Championship.

"Alright, lover boy. It's my turn to have a crack at you."

"Alright, Yang. lets go. Rock, Paper-" then my world went black. Though I could have sworn I felt a spike of pain in the side of my face.

 **/**

 **Third Person View**

 **/**

"Sorry girls, I figure that since I'm the last one, I automatically win."

"What?! That's not fair!" Neon whined.

"Well, I'd hate to come and go, but I've got to go and have him cum for me. Later." Yang said, tossing Jaune on her shoulder before activating the training bots.

"Yang, you traitor!"

 **/**

"Alright lover-boy, I'm going to give you something very special to me...actually, i'm going to give you a couple special things of mine." Yang said, surprisingly wistful. "I just love you that much."

 **?**

 **And end! that was a pretty good run if I have to lie to myself. I'm pretty sure this turned out terrible, but a guy can hope, right? Let me know how I did. I will probably continue this. And just in case you guys couldn't tell, Yang won. Not much else to say. So I guess I'll see ya in the next chapter of To Create Ones Path. Toodles~!**

 **Edited and proofread by: Nexonus**


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